Parenting Skills

*Most of us have used threats, bribes, punishments, sarcasm, verbal overkill, and encouraged our children to lie when we are trying to teach our children.  In this blog I would like to discuss how these practices don't work, and often make things worse.   When we use threats, we are actually inviting our children to repeat the act that we disapprove of.   Many times children see a threat as a dare.  If a child has self-respect he will have to show that he's not afraid of a dare.   An article from Psychology Today  entitled "Why Threats Don't Work: Parenting Effectively" had a great example of this phenomena " Ms. CHUA:  This was amazing. I thought, oh, great, you know, it's just Lulu and me together. She's about 3. I can teach her to play the piano. And I sat her down on these comfortable pillows, and I said, look, Lulu, just play one note three times evenly. And Lulu and I are so similar in  personality . She's a f...

*Another thing I have been learning a lot about is the appropriate way to discipline a child. It turns out that most of us are doing it wrong. 😟 I think most of us at this point understand that physical punishment is not good for our children.  Here are some reasons why physical punishment is a bad idea: Physical punishment, if effective at all, is only effective in the short run.  It actually creates many more problems in the long run. Children that have been punished physically are more likely to be bullies among their peers. Children that are overly physical with their peers are more likely to be rejected by their peer group. They are more likely to get into trouble at school. These problems make it more likely for these children to: Have academic difficulty Form friendships with anti-social peers Be delinquents It is easy for parents to lose control when they are using physical punishment, and do a lot more damage than they intended to. W...

I have recently started to take parenting classes. I have been loving everything that I have been learning in them. I know that these ideas will help everyone to raise happier, healthier children.  *One thing that I have learned is how important it is for us to try to understand our children According to the website, “Parenting Education, The National Model of Parenting Education” To understand a child includes the parents' knowledge of child development in general as well as insight into the style and preferences of each of their children individually. Understanding developmental issues, specific preferences, and circumstantial presses for each child, can help parents tune into and respond helpfully to the needs of each child. There are 4 developmental stages and they are: Birth-2 years old 3-6 years old 7-11 years old 12-17 years old    There are three domains of development: Physical Cognitive Socio-emotiona...