The Importance of Understanding our Children





















I have recently started to take parenting classes. I have been loving everything that I have been learning in them. I know that these ideas will help everyone to raise happier, healthier children. 

*One thing that I have learned is how important it is for us to try to understand our children

  • According to the website, “Parenting Education, The National Model of Parenting Education” To understand a child includes the parents' knowledge of child development in general as well as insight into the style and preferences of each of their children individually.

  • Understanding developmental issues, specific preferences, and circumstantial presses for each child, can help parents tune into and respond helpfully to the needs of each child.


There are 4 developmental stages and they are:

Birth-2 years old
3-6 years old
7-11 years old
12-17 years old
  
There are three domains of development:

Physical
Cognitive
Socio-emotional

What you can expect at the different stages in each domain:

Birth -2 years old

•Physical
•Learns to pull toys while walking
•Begins to run
•Learns to walk up and down stairs
•Learns to kick a ball
•Cognitive
•Learns to sort colors and shapes
•Learns to build towers of 4 or more blocks
•Plays make-believe
•Can find things that are hidden
•Social – Emotional
•Copies other people
•Shows some independence/defiance
•Follows simple instruction
•Starts to include others in their play


3-6 years old

•Physical
  • Pedal a tricycle
  • Jump forward 8 inches
  • Balance on one foot
  • Kick a ball rolling toward him/her
Cognitive
  • Understand the concept of two
  • Count to 10
  • Match pictures
  • Aware of basic safety
Social-Emotional
  • Cares about pleasing peers
  • Is aware of gender
  • Recognizes make-believe
  • Enjoys new things and activities


7-11 years old

•Physical
•Baby teeth start falling out
•Start growing more rapidly
•Aware of body image
•Complains about leg pains and tummy aches
•Cognitive
•Can understand puns
•Can follow a longer series of commands
•Can tell time
•Can repeat 3 numbers backwards
•Social-Emotional
•Peer acceptance is important
•Boys like playing with boys and girls like playing with girls
•Understand teamwork
•Starts to notice right versus wrong


















12-17 Years old

•Physical
•Puberty
•Sexual feelings
•Concerned about body image
•Realistic view of what the body is capable of
•Cognitive
•Decides what type of work habits they want
•Is future thinking
•Can give reasons for their choices
•Develops abstract thinking
•Social-emotional
•Has an interest in dating
•Wants independence from parents
•Has a deep capacity for caring
•Wants to be with friends more often

















We should always make sure that what we are asking of our children is appropriate to what they can do at each age.  Many parents fall into the trap of expecting things out of their children that they are to young to handle.  Many times we punish our children for doing things they have no way of understanding are wrong.
 Good parenting requires us to be flexible. It requires us to take into consideration the stage of development our child is in, and it requires us to take into account our child’s temperament.
For example, if we have a strong-willed child, then we should allow them to have control over as many things as possible.  We should not try to force our way on them.  It will just end in frustration for everyone.
It is really important for us to remember that as a child changes, they may be going through more on the inside than we realize.  Those changes can make it harder for them to behave a certain way.
Children that feel understood will throw fewer tantrums when they are young, and be less likely to get into trouble as they get older.
It is good to remember that every child is unique.  This uniqueness is a beautiful and wonderful thing.  It is hard as a parent to make sure that we allow this uniqueness to grow.  It is so much easier if we pushed for all of our kids to conform into the same way of being.  
*The ideas in this blog are taken from 
Steinberg, L. D. (2005). The ten basic principles of good parenting. New York: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.

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